Why do I do this to myself?!?

See, I am a normal person. Really, I am. Yes, I have a propensity to create stories based on paranormal creatures, generally pulled from myths and legends and then modified, with my own take. But, when all is said and done, I am normal and … errr … sane. So why do I do it? Why do I expose myself to the trauma of NaNoWriMo?

The intention starts of really well. This year, I even went as far as to have a plan for my story that I wanted to write, so imagine me giving myself a ‘high five’. Go, Jo! But the thing is I work full time, and my job involves a lot of driving. So, there came the first day when I was just too tired to think of writing. And another. And another.

Then I realised that I had to write something like 5000 words over the course of a weekend. But, it seemed that salvation was at hand. Dictation software. I saw other people talking about dictating their novels. That sounded like a cool idea. It turned out that the manufacturer of said software offered a 30 day free trial. Even better. Thirty days and I would have finished NaNoWriMo. I tried using my Bluetooth headset and the computer microphone to record. Bad plan. No problem, I thought, buying myself a decent Plantronics headset.

Full steam ahead! Or not. Last week, I drove 900 miles in three days: 420 on day 1, 205 on day 2 and the rest at the end of the week. Then I went to the Foodie Festival in London on the Saturday, and the MCN Live Motorbike show on Sunday. The latter was for research, honestly. I wanted to use Ducati bikes in my novel, so I needed to be sure I had the right bike. Sorted that one after talking to the Marketing Manager on the Ducati stand.

But what did it all mean for my NaNoWriMo entry, when a scant nine days remain of the month. The fact that I am writing a blog post and not writing my NaNoWriMo entry probably says it all.

I think that is a big fat “Ooops!”, don’t you? Can I still make it? That’s 21,295 words to write before I have reached the magic total of 50,000. That works out as 2,366 words per day for the next nine days.

There’s one other thing that I have done, which hasn’t made it easier for myself. Remember that plan that I had, the one where I wanted to give myself a pat on the back for not being my usual ‘pantser’ self? Well, I decided to change things slightly. A story which started off as a recollection of what made one of my characters into the Psycho that everyone believed him to be became much more introspective and that was really hard work.

I like to think that my characters talk to me. But this was an adult male character, explaining why he had acted the way that he had and really considering whether he made the right decisions along the way. My stories are based around him being able to see timelines and how those timelines might evolve. Knowing that your decision could lead to the death of another is never going to be easy, and trying to prise those emotions from someone who became accustomed to hiding his feelings? Well, I can think of a lot of things which are easier on the brain, such as climbing the North Face of the Eiger.

Okay, so that might be an exaggeration. To return to my original question, if I know I work long hours, if I know that writing a book never quite turns out the way it was planned, then why do I do this to myself?

Well, some stories need to be told, and often, it is the ones which are the most enlightening which are also the hardest to write. Is it an exercise in writing? I don’t know. Perhaps it is. Is it a necessary exercise, if that is the case. I would have to say, yes. Continuity in a novel is important. Understanding what lead a major character to act the way that he did, watching as the character slowly works out the reasons behind his actions. All this is a very fulfilling process.

Hard work it may be. I might not finish by 30th November. But, in the process, I will have gained some invaluable insights into a major character. That makes it all worthwhile. I will close with a graphic from Mandy Eve Barnett’s blog, because it did make me laugh …

LINKS TO THE BOOKS IN THE DIARIES OF THE CWN ANNWN

“Bound”, Volume 1 of The Diaries of the Cŵn Annwn
Amazon.com $0.99: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B016TQFBNY
Amazon.co.uk £0.99: https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B016TQFBNY
Smashwords.com £0.00 (Free): https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/589130