So … the human who had the temerity to interview my traitorous and former Alpha, Fane Anghelescu, has let me have my ‘day in the sun’. I would like to point out that for a Hell-dwelling Sumerian demoness, sunlight is vastly over-rated. Why you humans have to partially cook yourself and then decry the actions of those with darker skins is enough to make even my head spin.

Who am I? I shall let this Wikipedia give the basic outline.

In Mesopotamian mythology, Lamashtu (AkkadiandLa-maš-tu; Sumerian Dimme dDim3-me) was a female demon, monster, malevolent goddess or demigoddess who menaced women during childbirth and, if possible, kidnapped their children while they were breastfeeding. She would gnaw on their bones and suck their blood, as well as being charged with a number of other evil deeds. She was a daughter of the Sky God Anu.

Lamashtu is depicted as a mythological hybrid, with a hairy body, a lioness‘ head with donkey‘s teeth and ears, long fingers and fingernails, and the feet of a bird with sharp talons. She is often shown standing or kneeling on a donkey, nursing a pig and a dog, and holding snakes. She thus bears some functions and resemblance to the Mesopotamian demon Lilith.

But, I digress from the subject of this post. Bad Boys and Girls. And please, not those bad boys who come good by the end of the novel. This is an ode to the ones who work so hard to ensure that your beloved heroes and heroines are able to save the day. And, let me make one thing clear. Daughter of Anu I may be, but no god dictates what I do. That is all my choice and I am a female who enjoys what must be done.

Surely we deserve to be praised for our efforts? Oh, what’s that I hear from the meat-sack hanging on my wall? I won’t win. Never! Tsk! Tsk! The loss of one skirmish does not mean the loss of the war, darlings. Far from it. After all, the Great War which should have ended by Christmas resulted in World War 2. The first Gulf War led to another. And whilst I am on the subject, thank you all so much for the fresh-killed souls.

You see, that’s what will always make things interesting. I have been around for a few millennia. You pathetic humans have a life-span of less that a hundred years, you poor things. A mere blink of an eye. Is it my fault that you have forgotten where Sumeria USED to be? No, that was all your own work. However, it is all to my benefit. You see, your omission in the sands of time means that whilst you tootle off to wage your wars for the fossil fuels so necessary to the internal combustion engine, every single drop of blood spilled on my homeland strengthens me. Every single drop. Yes, occasionally the Cwn Annwn interfere, but it is not their home turf, which puts them at a disadvantage.

I thought I had found the perfect Alpha Hellhound to be my representative ‘topside’. The problem was, an annoying little enemy of mine, an Eastern European, had the gall to attempt to outwit me. It transpired that Fane was his grandson: Hellhound mother and demi-god father. My next choice turned out to be Fane’s blasted cousin, Casimir, with a demigoddess mother and a wolf shifter sire. Honestly, it was frustrating enough to make me scream.

 

I have been defending myself against my enemies, who wish to thwart my plans. That’s a good word, don’t you think? Thwart. But I shall come back to that later.

That was when I found Kurt. So well behaved, so bloodthirsty, so adoring of his Queen namely, me. But I wanted more. To be in real control, I had to be able to move topside, and I needed troops who were fanatically loyal to me. So, I conceived the project.

The effects of the project have been detailed in the ‘Hellfire Pack’ stories, from … Botherations, that’s right. I forgot to mention another who has turned her back on the ways of destruction, the Egyptian, Sekhmet. She had waded in, why, I can’t think, but she had. The result, I had not just one of her elites, Merysekhmet they called themselves, but two of them: Ramses and Elizabeth.

Then there was the potential from Dylann, the mate of Josh Abbott, but her Mate proved to be quite strong. He referred to himself as a ‘Marine’. Did that have something to do with it? If it did, then I will not make the mistake of using another like him.

But the project had attracted the attention of some human authorities, but only because they thought it related to my pet humans. Terrorists, they were called. Their twisting of Islam, the upstart religion that it was, was music to me. But these humans seemed smarter. Evolution has caused more trouble that it is worth. Special Forces from England, supposedly the best at what they did.

Setbacks, after several thousand years are all very well, but this was becoming a joke and a very unamusing one at that, since now I was facing one of my dear Fane’s Pack. The circle is complete, it seems. Adam Anghelescu and his Mate, a skin-walker. I could not help clapping my hands. A female with the ability to adopt the face of anyone. The possibilities were endless.

The barriers thrown up against the bad guys of a novel can be quite trying. Let’s look at some of them, because I and my brethren wish to make one thing quite clear. We are not:

• Failure to consider a heretofore hidden ability of the good guys
• Incompetent or lacking in intelligence
• Deficient in fighting ability
• Bound to be turned to the good side
• Inability to learn from mistakes

The author of this book series used to write roleplay. She was asked to write a male character. However, the female who led the group never wished the character to win. Every time it seemed he would gain the upper hand, the heroine would produce some miraculous power to overcome him.

RULE #1: Don’t try to defeat us with the hero or heroine ‘pulling a rabbit out of a hat’. 
Incompetence. Please, do me a favour. I am Lamashtu of Sumeria. I existed as a goddess before most of humanity lived in more than caves.  I know more ways of killing than anyone that walks the world today. And, more importantly, I am capable of adapting to changing times.

RULE #2: Do not underestimate our intelligence

This runs on to the third point. If the bad guy can arm or disarm a variety of explosives, know ways to kill, know ways to torture, clearly we are not lacking in intelligence. That is why we adapt our methods.

Deficient in fighting ability. So we all have our favourite techniques, but again, please use your brains! I have been around for millenia. I am an intelligent, adaptable being. That means I can learn to fight. No one style has superiority over another. At my level of the game, I expect my opponents to be good.

RULE #3: Make it interesting. Use at least two fighting styles if we are to come to blows.

Bound to be turned to the light side: Again, why? There will always be weak choices. Fane was part of a bigger plan, as was his damned cousin. But, trust me, if I have not folded yet, why will I?

 

RULE #4: Turning away from the dark side is so predictable. Some baddies actually enjoy their work.

Learn from mistakes. This is particularly relevant in a series. So, the hero or heroine has managed to defeat us. Don’t you think that when we retire to lick our wounds, we will analyse how we were beaten? That returns us to the assumption of a lack of intelligence.

Four rules which my dear author uses.  But, those considerations are only part of it. They are just four very common mistakes which my author has seen in roleplay and in published work. Avoidable mistakes. I am sure other people can think of a few more. Just remember these four and it is at least a start.

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LINKS TO THE BOOKS IN THE DIARIES OF THE CWN ANNWN and HELLFIRE PACK SERIES

“Bound”, Volume 1 of The Diaries of the Cŵn Annwn
Amazon.com $0.99 or free on KU: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B016TQFBNY
Amazon.co.uk £0.99 or free on KU: https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B016TQFBNY