“Make Yourself Happy …”

How many times have you heard that line? At work, with the classic advice of find a job you enjoy? That is closely followed by ensuring you have a good work/life balance. Companies will have their policies, probably including some of the following in terms of protecting one’s own health:

• Be aware of issues such as back pain, musculoskeletal disorders, eye-stress and strain
• Stress and anxiety
• Mental and physical fatigue
• Threatening or bullying behaviour

This will be followed by advice to report it to a line manager or HR, because, of course, your employer has your best interests at heart. You might even believe that, in terms of a happy workforce is a productive workforce. The problems occur when the ‘management’ come from a different generation, where ‘risk-aware’ meant ‘get rid of the problem before its existence becomes known by others’.

In the face of that, is it surprising that work/life balance may not exist?

So returning to that idea of balance. Apart from a three year period in the mid-1990s, I have always worked full-time. In the 2001 census, that meant a 60 hour week. Wait just a second. If you work 60 hours, and you sleep 11pm to 6am (35 hours), have a bit of a lie in at the weekend (18 hours). There are 282 hours in a week. Work and sleep is 113 hours. So, that leaves 169 hour as time with significant others.

That’s cool, because that’s 38 more hours spent not working or sleeping. No problem. Balanced. And, as a bonus point, balanced in favour or downtime. But, remember, I am also working this out from:

1. A working mother’s perspective
2. Someone trying to write and self-publish her own novels.

Oh, and don’t want to hear that nonsense about shared parenting and the sharing of household tasks. Great in theory but does it happen for the majority. So we will just cut to the chase. Yes, you may well be spending time with your family, but it is eating, shopping, laundry, housework. When do you sit down? When do you relax? When are you not a wife, a mother?

When do you truly have ‘me’ time? When do you have the time to do something just for you?

This was the point that my therapist made to me. When did I do something that made me happy? Writing whilst cooking? Writing when I have insomnia? Thinking about plots when driving? And, it was not just my writing. How often had I put my dream of learning to ride a motorbike? When we are on holiday, do I have the chance to paint?

It made me think. Part of self-publishing is the promotional side. If readers don’t know you are out there, they won’t buy your books. Simple as that. My WordPress stats showed I hadn’t posted for several months. Facebook reminded me that my followers hadn’t heard from me in my author page. The 600+ people following my Hunter’s Arrow page hadn’t heard from me in a while either. That self-promotion stuff takes time.

Time. Timely-wimey. Wibbly-wobbly-timey-wimey.

Damn, but the therapist was right. Doing things that I enjoyed had become a guilty pleasure, one that didn’t deserve time in my schedule. This is the reality of being a self-published author, as many of us know. But don’t mistake my words for a whinge. It was a wake-up call, because it is all to easy for our pleasure, the one thing that should make a writer smile, become a chore.

Make yourself happy.

No, that doesn’t mean give up writing if it becomes a chore. For me, what it has meant is when the little voice in my head says, “You can’t afford motorbike lessons.”, there is a countering voice saying, “Yes, you can. After all this time, you can.”

How does that translate into my writing? It means making it clear that ‘that hour’ is writing time and I am not to be interrupted unless the house is on fire. Similarly, if I put aside time for promotional work. That is a necessary part of my writing. It is not me ‘playing’ in Facebook and social media. It is part and parcel of my wanting to stand a chance of my books selling more than a single copy. I know writing won’t replace my day job, but I would like to have something to show for the time I spend putting pen to paper.

For the record, since my therapist asked me that question, I have booked the motorbike lessons, I have bought the Royal Enfield Bullet in the picture at the top. I have taken time to edit, have critiqued and re-edit the next book I want to publish.

‘Me’ time.

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LINKS TO THE BOOKS IN THE DIARIES OF THE CWN ANNWN and HELLFIRE PACK SERIES

“Bound”, Volume 1 of The Diaries of the Cŵn Annwn
Amazon.com $0.99 or free on KU: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B016TQFBNY
Amazon.co.uk £0.99 or free on KU: https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B016TQFBNY