When I looked back at my publishing schedule, I realised it was months since I had added anything to my blog. Even then, I found it difficult to express myself as myself. Depression and anxiety are insidious. You tell yourself that you can cope, but then something tips the scale, and the proverbial chasm beckons.

But now, I have so many ideas bubbling away, that the difficulty is sorting them out. “Wait your turn!” I mutter to all the ideas, as I try to put them in some sort of order.

I have always enjoyed writing with a fountain pen, not least because it was a sign that I could write ‘properly’ as a child. I remember that first pen: a Platignum pen, purple barrel. Unfortunately, my style of writing meant that I ground the nib down one side. Other pens followed. Parker, Sheaffer. Nothing fancy. Just sturdy pens. In college it was a Parker Vector, which unfortunately was stolen by some lowlife. It was shame, because it had a beautifully smooth nib. Still it did teach me that not all pens, and nibs, are created equal.

Leap forward into my mid-forties, and my love of fountain pens was rekindled because a colleague preferred to use them. Until then, I had a couple of Parkers which just languished in my pen pot. Within a relatively short time, those two long-suffering pens were joined by several others. I went so far, even, to order a replacement nib for one from Australia.

Not all of them are inked. Some have standard black. Some not so standard purple, or brown or turquoise. Another has Diamine Blood Orange or Diamine Dark Forest. I have put a pause on buying any others, given that there is a Pen Show in London which coincides with my birthday in October.

And, it doesn’t stop there. Paper … Ah! The delights of paper. I prefer 90gsm paper, but I have Clairefontaine notebooks from Bureau Direct. I have some made by Rob De La Porte (Click here for Rob’s website), and I have the one illustrated above with the peacock feather, found in the sale pile at WH Smith in Newcastle.

So, why am I waxing lyrical about pens and paper? Most of my novels are written either on my Lenovo Yoga laptop computer or on my iPad, the latter courtesy of Uncle George. But, given that my job involves a lot of travelling and waiting around, I found another option. I rediscovered the pleasure of writing longhand. So, what I write may not make it into a novel, but it gives me a repository for those bubbling thoughts, whenever they occur. The process of writing with a fountain pen on good quality paper has meant that I have rediscovered the pleasure and relaxation in writing longhand. The latter surprised me, because my writing had become rather scrappy. Who needs a pen and paper when you can make a quick note with talk-to-text software.

But, there is pleasure and there is relaxation. I am having regular appointments with a CBT therapist, and one of the things he pointed out was what did I do that brought me pleasure? What was just for me? Not work, not family, not for my husband or son? Just for me.

That is writing with a fountain pen. Writing on good quality paper. Writing my stories and the thoughts of my characters. You might consider trying it.

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LINKS TO THE BOOKS IN THE DIARIES OF THE CWN ANNWN and HELLFIRE PACK SERIES

“Bound”, Volume 1 of The Diaries of the Cŵn Annwn
Amazon.com $0.99 or free on KU: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B016TQFBNY
Amazon.co.uk £0.99 or free on KU: https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B016TQFBNY